Well, I'm an anal-retentive unemployed lawyer with a serious alcohol problem and an embarrassing skin rash (does this look red to you?) who likes to surf for porn when I am not otherwise gaming or picking up loose women. On occasion, I belch at restaurants, but only because I really enjoy the food, after which I conveniently remember that I have "left my wallet in the other coat, would you mind paying again? Oh is that the time, I must be getting off. I'll call you again okay? Cheerio."
I am also British. No truly, I'm from england. I even said cheerio for you! What this means is that I like to colonize things. I hope that doesn't turn you against me.
[places flag in your cleavage]
I also happen to be a drop dead gorgeous, extremely intelligent and completely amazing lover although somewhat prone to occasional bouts of exaggeration and sarcasm.